My ego got in the way, and it left me bruised

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I woke up this morning with tears streaming down my face because my ego got so bruised it was difficult to deal with. I would like to say that I was tired and that it is difficult to manage my emotions when I am tired. But that’s an excuse – I know very well what I need to do in those situations…find a quiet place to relax, take a nap, journal and just breathe…

The real reason behind my tears and frazzled emotions were because I did not clearly communicate my needs to those around me, when my gut clearly told me to – months ago. I instead made excuses and justified my need for a quiet, safe and comfortable space with a window – long story – in that I may have been asking for too much.

But in essence this was and still is important to me to recharge, to refocus and to find the time to align and be centered.

And because I was having all these conversations, with myself in my head and not sharing my thoughts and needs out loud to those around me, when the situation to which I needed to have communicated before presented itself, I reacted in a way that made it seem as if those around me should have been in my head the whole entire time and should have therefore been privy to what I was feeling. My ego kicked in – I’m this and I’m that and I have this and surely they should have realized and placed all this on the table before any decisions for anyone besides me should have been made. Well of course that didn’t turn out well!

And to make matters worse, when the tears and emotions started welling up – I was in the middle of writing a proposal that needed to be sent this very minute; I was chatting online with a friend encouraging and wishing them well on new work they were embarking on – it would have been selfish for me to stop mid-conversation; I was writing a message to a group of people thanking them for their contribution to a past proposal and chatting with another friend about how frustrated I was feeling right this minute when all the poor gal had done was send me a greeting message to wish me a good couple of weeks ahead. At the same time, I was going to and from the kitchen refiling my glass of water as I realised I was worsening my already dehydrated body from all this crying and of course this was coupled by going to and from the bathroom to release all the water I was guzzling down! What a site! And talk about multi-tasking, or not!!

After about an hour of all of this, I was exhausted! I had to stop, take in a lot of deep breathes, listen to calming music and rest before I could sit up and write. I’m feeling much better despite looking like a raccoon with dark circles under my eyes and red eyes. But that’s okay – more water and bathroom trips, as well as a nice long hot shower, breakfast and a cup of herbal tea will do the trick. And of course reminding myself that I need to check my ego at the door and that I need to verbally express my needs to those around me, clearly and from a space of love.

Your turn:

  1. What’s your go to method of relaxing and recharging when tired?
  2. As you take care of your physical body, how do you take care of your emotional self?
  3. Have you seen yourself in situations where people don’t follow what you’re going on about or why you’re reacting the way you are? And the reason is because you have not checked your ego or left it at the door when you enter into other people’s spaces?
  4. What self-conversations are you having with another person in your head, which don’t make it out into the world and to the real physical other person you should really be communicating with?
  5. Have you given yourself excuses to keep working when you know you need to take a breather and refocus?

Action

I would love to hear what practices you engage in, to relax and recharge, to take care of your emotions, to communicate and articulate your needs to those around you, to take a breather from your work and ways you check your ego at the door. Email me at designyourlifefoundation@gmail.com

In the meantime, stay well, stay safe and most of all, stay sane!

Happy Monday!

Barbs

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