So, a while ago I wrote a book called Am I Insane, Black or Just a Woman. The reasoning behind the title was as follows. There are things that are happening or which happen each and every day of our lives that make us stop and think, wait a minute –is this really happening, how has it become the norm? How did we get to this stage? Have we gone insane or am I just asking too many questions? Perhaps the wrong questions? How are we letting our young children sell their bodies for money when our primate instinct is to protect our young? How are we placing people in authority over our jobs, social, financial and food without then having a say of what they should be doing with that authority? Are we not having inclusive discussions with even our friends, families and elders on how the world is changing and how we can better contribute to it?
Are we in jobs that are demanding of our souls? Are we or were forced to follow careers not of our choosing? What is going on in this world with all the resources that we have and all the knowledge and good people around? How are we living sub-par lives with no foresight of things becoming better soon, or even a plan for better outcomes? How are we letting bad things happen to us and to those around us each and every day? How are we drawn into watching and listening to bad news; contributing to it by paying subscriptions for sub-par content – content that does not allow us to become better human beings? Am I going insane? The answers I have in my mind sound like excuses. Excuses given because of the boxes we have placed ourselves in; excuses based on nationality, color, age, height, weight, etc. Excuses that allow us to live in mediocrity, excuses that block us from progressing. What is going on? What am I doing to contribute to this insanity?
The Black part of my book title – well, I am Black. But is that how I define myself in my everyday life? How does defining myself by my race, age or profession propel or stop me from moving forward? What is it that defines you? What labels have you put in your life that propel, stop or block you from doing what you really want to do in life; i.e. the job you really want, spending time with the people you know are really better for you, the things that you should really be saying or doing? Worse still – what have you allowed those around you to call you or what box have you passively – perhaps actively allowed them to place you? With the knowledge that when we do nothing to stop bad things happening, we are actually saying that it is okay, why are we supporting bad behavior? Why are we allowing it to happen?
Society. The big black and tall immovable building looming in our minds. Yes minds. It is not tangible. What box do they put you in? A box that we tick and say this is where we are and because this is where we are; this is what we are going to do?
Society is not a building somewhere downtown with brick walled rules and laws that are unbreakable or not malleable. Society is made up of people. People, mindsets, culture, way of living. People, us, human beings – we are dynamic. We are not the same person we were last week as we are today. As we interact with our different environments and as our different environments interact with us, we change. Our 5-year-old selves are not the same as our 10-year-old selves, or our 20-year-old or 40-year-old selves. So, if society consists of people; people who are dynamic and who change with time; why do we blame bad things happening on society – the very society that is fluid and dynamic as the people it embodies?
But actually – wait a minute – I’m confused. If society are people, and people are us – then there is actually nothing wrong with blaming society, right? Because where society is us, the bad things that happening are then because of us – not the nonexistent building downtown right? Food for thought. Aren’t rules made to serve the people and the circumstances of that time and period? Yes – some rules work over decades and generations? But the world changes, we as human beings change – surely so should some of the rules? The only thing that is certain in life is change. So why fight it?
Defining myself as just a woman – well that’s restrictive. I’m not just a woman, I’m an awesome human being. So are you and every single person in this entire world. Putting ourselves in a box is not okay. When we stop putting ourselves and each other in boxes and judging ourselves and each other, we can be much more than we can be as we move on in this world.
When we gossip and sneer and kill and harm each other, we are saying that the other person / people are not okay. That they should be like us. But why? Each and every one of us has a unique blueprint, which means we can interact with the world differently, dynamically and uniquely to make a beautiful rainbow of many colors, talents and awesomeness. Only in celebrating our differentness and uniqueness can each and every one of us truly express and color the world in our brilliant ways.
- So, there you go – something to reflect on…what box are you in?
- What is that box doing to help or to hinder your progress?
- What things are you supporting by making a decision not to do or say something when things are not going okay?
- What other boxes have you or have allowed societyto place you in?
- Be honest with yourself
- Are you using society, culture, the boxes you use to define you? Are you using these as a crutch, slowing down the progress you really want to make?
Happy reflecting, acting and progressing!
With regards. Your fellow dynamic human being. Barbs.
Recent WhatsApp review of my book:
I finished the book and I loved it. You should write some more. Lessons learnt [from the book]:
- Be open, say and stand up for what you believe is right regardless of tradition and what is termed “normal”
- The loss of a loved one can make or break you….. make the right choice
- Forgive yourself when you do something wrong. Pick yourself up and keep moving. You called it falling forward the other day
- Surround yourself with people that have a positive mindset to life
- Control your thoughts re: the zoo visit. I wish I had put reference to all my points. 😊 It’s a lovely read. Share it more