So, I have been trying to craft this message on love for a couple of weeks now and am not sure I have done it much justice because it is a bigger conversation. However, I thought to just start from where my thoughts are today and look foward to your comments and future engagements…here we go…
SO — you are love. You are good. All human beings are good. When you came out of your mother’s womb, you were love, you are love at your core. When someone tells you that they love you, whether it be your parents, your friends or your partners — all they are doing is substantiating what you are already. This is awesome — as some of us need a reminder from time to time that we are love and that we are good. And because we are love — we can give love — we can do good. Love is a doing word. If someone says that they love you, that translates to them treating you with love.
There are different types of love. Let’s briefly talk about romantic love. When a partner says they love you, what you need to remember is (a) they are substantiating what you are already and (b) they are committing to a romantic relationship within the love that’s already you and that is already them.
If they say they love you and are committing to this type of love — romantic love — then why would they be beating you, or cheating on you or calling you names or shouting at you, or not being honest with you or leaving you out of their life, or being possessive and non-communicative? How is that love?
Let’s talk about parental love: when a parent says to a child, you are a good boy or you are a good girl, after you have done well at school, or have cleaned the house well, or picked up their toys, or have played well together, or for whatever reason that is culturally, socially, traditionally seen as good— that is actually wrong. Let me tell you why. If we are all love — which we are — we are all essentially good. So, when someone does something right and we say you are good — you are essentially just substantiating what they are already. When someone does someting that is bad and we say that they are a bad person, that does not sit well with anoyone’s core being. It causes discordance — because noone is bad — we are all good and we are all love — it is the behavior that they have been exposed to and that they are engaging in that is bad. Not the person.
What happens when we tell someone that they are a good person when they do something we define as good? We are actually setting them up for failure. Because they will always try and replicate that behavior in any setting — even if the setting is not conducive for them and who they are. All because they want to be acknowledged as a good person. People grow up not being true to themselves because they are trying to be good people — when essentially — they are already good people. We start generating a group of people pleasers who will never be happy with their own lives because as you know, no one can ever please everyone. This causes a lot of discordance within any being because society has defined good behavior and bad behavior as being attached to good people and bad people. Yet we are all love and we are all good — nothing else. It is the behaviors that we engage in that are good or bad and can be certainly enhanced and changed respectively…
Part 2 to follow…
