It all started in my deliberate efforts to make more time with the cheerleaders in my life: those I love, those who love me, those who are always in my corner, those who I support and those who support me. My biggest cheerleaders in all aspects of my life are my parents. I make a deliberate effort to communicate or meet with them face to face when they are in town as they now stay a 3-hour drive away as opposed to the 5 minute-round the corner place they used to be. This means I can’t call in on them at any time to munch on delicious homemade bread that dad makes. Actually – thinking about it – I can – it just takes a bit more preparation.
When in town, mum goes for yoga with Jenny on Thursdays at Queen of Hearts in Harare. I joined her on one of her early morning yoga classes. Jenny is just a wonderful human being. Gentle. Encouraging and well-disciplined in her art. Just watching her teach is calming. I could happily sit in a corner and feel relaxed watching her teach, bending this way and that, stretching, embracing and opening her chakras. But that would defeat the whole purpose of going to yoga, wouldn’t it? So on with the story 🙂
On the day I attended with mum, I remember thinking (instead of focusing) that I should have worn warm clothes because it was the middle of winter and cold. At the same time, I was thinking, this is awesome – I had promised myself that I would spend more time with loved ones in my life and here I am living up to my self-promise; deliberately creating and spending time with mum. Here I am actively creating a space which we both enjoy, interacting, stretching, breathing and relaxing. Yoga helps me re-center, heal from past sports injuries and prevent future ones. The act of intention, taking in deep deliberate breathes, releasing and letting go of tension, stretching tight muscles, opening up joints and intentionally re-centering is an awesome gift that yoga has afforded me…well until Jenny introduced headstands.
Forget the centering, forget the breathing, relaxation out the window, panic and negative thought patterns taking hold –oh dear! Love, there is no way you can a headstand! Maybe you should have gone for coffee with mum instead – any excuse for a soy cappuccino, right? But I couldn’t exactly stand up in the middle of the class and leave. It would defeat the whole purpose of spending time with mum. It would defeat the whole purpose of re-centering, focusing, breathing and relaxing. So, I puckered up, refocused, re-listened to the instructions that Jenny was patiently repeating, followed all the stages and steps, placed my hands and head on the floor and just as I was about to lift my feet off the ground – my self-limiting beliefs resurfaced: You’re absolutely mad if you think you can do this! You want reasons? First, you can’t do a headstand. Second, you have an old back injury and you’re going to fall and reinjure yourself. What are you going to say to Dr. Maraire when you re-present to her with the same injury? Third, you’re going to break your neck – then what? 😦
It took every ounce of my will power to just look at these thoughts and say – you know what – no. Aren’t you a coach for other people? If this were another person, wouldn’t you encourage them to try, try and try again? Wouldn’t you encourage them to keep the end in mind using different strategies until they manage to achieve what they set out to do? Why are you not treating yourself in the same manner? You have the right instructor in the room providing you with clear instructions, put yourself in the right frame of mind, you know you have strong will power – You can do this! I stopped, took in a few deep, long breadths, refocused, removed the old worn-out record of self-doubt, followed all the steps again, put my hands and head down, lifted my bottom off the floor and hey presto! I did a head stand!! And you know what – it felt awesome! Now each week, I am able to stop, refocus, replace self-limiting beliefs with bold, energetic ones, and with fewer tries each time, I am able to do replicate the headstand.
Your turn
What are you actively doing to nurture the relationships in your life? Are you actively creating spaces and making time with your loved ones?
With you being the most important relationship you have with yourself, what are you actively doing to nurture that? Are you placing all your energy on self-limiting beliefs that you have no proof of, stopping you from achieving what you want to achieve in the different areas of your life?
That thing you thought you couldn’t do because you only tried it once – are the negative thoughts in your head preventing you from trying it out again? What are you afraid of? Lisa Nichols says that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. What evidence did I have that I couldn’t do a headstand – NONE, what evidence did I have that I would re-injure my back or break my neck – NONE. If anything, I had evidence of the exact opposite! In grade school, I remember doing loads of headstands and cartwheels in the playground; I could stretch forward to touch my toes whilst my forehead was on my knees and stretch backwards creating an arch with my back, touching my ankles as I stood upright. I can still do all this – so where did this false evidence that was appearing real and true coming from?
Reflection
Imagine yourself in a car with Fear and Passion (@Lisa Nichols): Passion should be in the driver’s seat. Fear should be in the back seat. Why? Because Passion will lead you to where you want and need to be. Fear should be kept in the backseat to remind you here and there to listen intently to what it is that you may need to learn a little bit more as you move toward your life vision. If you place Fear in the driver’s seat, Fear will take you nowhere, because each time you make a decision, Fear will keep changing direction, playing those old records of self-doubt, self-limiting beliefs, limiting you from reaching for what matters to you…
Questions
What is it costing you to put Fear instead of Passion in the driver’s seat?
How far behind are you in your finances, your relationships, your career, your education, your business, your life? What old records of self-limiting beliefs are you playing over and over in your head from the time you wake up everyday to the time you go back to bed? When are you going to place Passion in the driver’s seat of your life? YOU only YOU, can give Passion that Driver’s License.
Need help? Email me on designyourlifeaoundation@gmail.com and let’s figure this out together.
Lots of love
B
